Many people—typically female—are intimidated by the idea of dating a musician. This is particularly true for aspiring calligraphers who are used to living in a very subdued world of ink and parchment.
But if you’re one of those people, don’t be! Musicians are just men (or women) who have chosen a specific career path, just like teachers or scientists or web designers. We may not be able to change their loves, but we can at least learn more about these other loves. Here are some things to know before dating a drummer:
1. We are eternal optimists
If you’ve been playing the drums for more than two days, chances are that you’re going to be fine. We go from feeling like the best musician that has ever lived, to being the worst drummer in the world within a matter of hours. It’s all part of our charm.
2. We are spontaneous
Drummers will drum everywhere
It does not matter where they are – be it on the table, chair or sofa – a drummer will always find something to drum on wherever they go. It’s in their nature, so expect them to drum everywhere they get!
3. We tell lies about how much gear costs
If you ask us how much something cost (especially if it was second-hand), there is no way that we’ll give you an honest answer. So just don’t ask, OK? You’ll be happier not knowing
4. We are confident
Drummers are confident people, and it shows when they play. They’re not afraid to get up on stage or in the recording studio and perform, even for a large crowd. This spills into other areas of their lives as well. If you’re seeking a partner who can handle being the center of attention from time to time, a drummer is perfect.
5. Drummers will drum everywhere
It does not matter where they are – be it on the table, chair or sofa – a drummer will always find something to drum on wherever they go. It’s in their nature, so expect them to drum everywhere they get!
6. We have rhythm — not only in the bedroom but in life
When a drummer has a tempo set in his head, he’ll always have it there — even when he’s relaxing with you at home or out in public with you. He’s going to be tapping his foot, moving his hands and bouncing around while keeping time with the music that he hears inside his head at all times. Not only is this annoying, it’s cute too! Who doesn’t want to date someone who can feel the rhythm?
7. We’re usually the life of a party
Drummers are usually the most fun people in any band or group of friends. They love to entertain, and as such will be known for being a bit crazy (in the best possible way).
8. We’re messy
If you date a drummer, then expect there to be drum gear everywhere. It will be in your car, on the floor, covering your bed and stacked up in every room of your house.
9. We don’t make money; we spend money
If you are looking for someone who will take care of your financial needs, look elsewhere, because drummers typically spend more money on their gear than they make playing music. That being said, if you like trying new and tasty foods at fancy restaurants, we will probably be a great match! Since the drummers are ready to open up and pay, sometimes it is nice for you to get them something as well. You can find some great gifts for drummers here, especially if you run out of ideas what to get them in return or as a thank you!
10. We’re Hard Workers
A drummer is always working hard, even when it looks like they’re doing nothing at all. Practicing and maintaining their skills is incredibly important to them, so don’t be surprised if they put their craft first before anything else.
And when they aren’t working on perfecting their own craft, don’t be surprised if they are giving drum lessons to help someone else perfect their craft.
11. We’re Not Great At Texting
While some drummers may be very proficient at texting (especially since many of them use text-based apps on their phones), texting may not be the best way to reach a drummer. Because they spend so much time practicing and working on music with their bands.
12. We’re better at multi-tasking than most other guys
There’s always something going on with drummers because they’re so good at doing many things at once. It’s not just their 4 limbs playing wildly on the drums, it’s also the fact that they’re amazing singers too! That’s why drummers are so fun to watch while they’re playing live shows because they’re so entertaining.
13. Drummers will always have the coolest hair
There’s no getting around it. They’ll have the kind of hairstyle you’ve never even thought of and they’ll pull it off better than anyone else could.
14. Drummers are always looking for people to jam with them on their set
So, if you want some quality time with your partner make sure they know beforehand that now isn’t the best time because all those other band members will come knocking at your door soon enough anyway… Don’t worry though — once those guys leave for school or work in the morning (and since drummers tend to practice late at night), your significant other will finally have some alone time with you!
15. We are naturally competitive
The way our band practices work, there is a lot of jamming for improvising, and so we get competitive because that is the nature of what we do, and we are always trying to outdo each other. So don’t expect us to pull any punches while having a conversation; if you say something stupid or make an idiotic suggestion, be prepared for us to eviscerate your opinion without hesitation.
Conclusion
A lot of people don’t understand what it’s like being a drummer. They don’t get the drive and the passion, they don’t understand why we have to practice every day. These people aren’t worth your time. If you stand by us as we go through all the hardships we go through, you are worth our time and we’ll love you unconditionally for it.
Most importantly, if you find yourself in any situation where there is difficulty communicating, don’t be afraid to ask questions. As they say, “if you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours.” Having said that — if avoiding your significant other’s band practice becomes a chasm too wide to cross — I’d recommend walking away. No matter how much you love someone nothing is worth sacrificing your own sanity.
